The Sound OF Bleach
by Tacky76
Summary: Bleach and Sound Of Music crossover. A Musical. [ IchiRuk ]
1. Cast

**Disclaimer for whole series: I do not own Bleach, that would be Kubo Tite. Nor do I own Sound Of Music, that would be 20th Century Fox **( Please don't sue me Mr Big Company Executive _shivers in corner_ )

**Genre: **Musical

* * *

**Cast: Will be added to as the story progresses. The amount of research to do this is huge!**

**Rukia Von Trapp** played by Rukia Kuchiki

**Ichigo Von Trapp** played by Ichigo Kurosaki

**Baroness Orihime Shrader** played Orihime Inoue

**Grandmaster Byakuya** played by Byakuya Kuchiki

**Master Kenpachi** played by Kenpachi Zaraki

**Master Jyuushiro Margaretta **played by Jyuushiro Ukitake

**Momo Von Trapp** played by Momo Hinamori

**Hanatarou Von Trapp **played by Hanatarou Yamada

**Karin Von Trapp** played by Karin Kurosaki

**Jinta Von Trapp **played by Jinta Hanakari

**Yuzu Von Trapp **played by Yuzu Kurosaki

**Ururu Von Trapp **played by Ururu Tsumugiya

**Yachiru Von Trapp** played by Yachiru Kusajishi

**Toushiroulfe **played by Toushirou Hitsugaya

**Random Comedic Relief** played by Kon

* * *

**Minor Roles:**

**Messenger Bernice: **by some random messenger guy.

**Acolyte Ikkaku** played by Ikkaku Madarame

**Acolyte Yumichika** played by Yumichika Ayasegawa

**Acolyte Renji** played by Renji Abarai

**Fuhrer Yamamoto** played by Genryuusai Yamamoto

**Instructor Choutarou** played by Choutarou Sasakibe

* * *

**Notes: The symbology may be a little different because ffnet doesn't allow every symbol. So I'm using these instead of proper play symbology.**

// Scenery is set within the scene tags. //

_Italics is used to denote character actions, movements and expressions._

**Bold:** is only used for the name of the character speaking.

Song Titles

( In scene notes are in brackets )

--(** NAME OF PERSON SINGING **)--**  
**

Centred text is used to represent singing parts

* * *

**Director:** Tacky76 

**Dance and singing Choreographer:** You

**Producer:** Very Wrong Productions Company


	2. Act 1

**Act 1 – Scene 1**

// The scene opens as it pans through icy mountainscape and finally zooming through the clouds it focuses on a rolling green meadow in Rukongai. There are small flowers growing as Rukia is strolling around spinning in that copyrighted fashion. The air is clean and the sky is technicolour blue. She is wearing a light blue shift and a wide brimmed straw hat. Rukia starts singing her version of the song The Sound Of Music //  


--( **Rukia** )--

Sei-rei-tei is alive with the sound of music

With songs Shingami sing for a thousand years

Sei-rei-tei fills my heart with the sound of music

My heart wants to sing every song it hears

**X x X x X**

My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds

that rise from the lake to the trees

My heart wants to sigh like a chime that flies

from a Seireitei breeze

To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls over

stones on its way

To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray

**X x X x X**

I go to Seireitei when my heart is lonely

I know I will hear what I've heard before

My heart will be blessed with the sound of music

And I'll sing once more

**X x X x X**

// The sound of loud war gongs ring in the background and Rukia looks around panic stricken. Turning towards the decline of the hill, she runs off. Her hat falls off and a second later she shunpo's and picks it up. //

**Rukia:**Damn hat! (_Turning back she shunpo's off_ )

**Act 1 – Scene 2**

// The landscape fades away and appears inside a large Japanese styled training dojo. The fighters are all clad only in their Hakama's and wielding swords, beating each other up. At the head of the Dojo sits three masters dressed in Shinigami Uniforms and the central figure, Grandmaster Byakuya is wearing a captains uniform. The other two sitting crosslegged beside him are Master Kenpachi and Master Jyuushiro, also in Shinigami captain uniforms. //

**All students:**Kiai! Ha! Kia! Hiah! (_General sounds of people sparring_)

// After watching at length, the three masters get up and leave the room, nodding to Instructor Choutarou to continue. As they reach outside and walk down the hall, a messenger Shinigami flashes and lands before them. //

**Messenger Bernice:**Grandmaster Byakuya.

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Messenger Bernice.

**Messenger Bernice:**I simply cannot find her, Byakuya-sama.

**Master Jyuushiro:**Rukia? (_Messenger Bernice nodds_)

**Master Kenpachi:**Told ya we shoulda put a cowbell on her neck! Not that namby pamby anklet bell she wears!

**Master Jyuushiro:**Have you tried the rabbit hutches. You know how much she adores the bunnies.

**Messenger Bernice:**I have looked everywhere. In all of the usual places-

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Messenger boy, considering it is Rukia….

I suggest you look in someplace unusual.

**Messenger Bernice:**Yes Byakuya-sama. (_Messenger Bernice nods and flashes away. The group continue strolling into the main courtyard._)

// The main courtyard is an open space paved with stone. Surrounded by various buildings on all sides and at one end has a set of stairs leading to the next level of one of the buildings. Even the banisters are stone. A central circle of stone surrounds a lone water pump, a small bucket resting on the stone ledge surrounding the pump sink hole. At the foot of the stairs a group of Shinigami are sitting down chatting. //

**Master Kenpachi:**Well Granmaster Byakuya. I hope this new fiasco ends whatever doubts you have 'bout Rukia's future here.

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Do not try my doubt. I have no doubt whatsoever.

**Master Jyuushiro:**After all, the wool of a black sheep is just as warm, Master Kenpachi.

**Master Kenpachi:**Shit! One stab with my Zanpaktou and the furry critter is dead. We're not talking 'bout sheep here, damn it! We're talking about warriors, Master Jyuushiro! Of all the candidates for Instructors here, Rukia is the least-

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Master Kenpachi! Master Jyuushiro! Act like the Masters you are. ( _The group of Shinigami's chatting at the foot of the stairs stand up. They consist of Acolyte Ikkaku, Acolyte Yumichiki, Acolyte Renji. Byakuya noticing them turns to them and asks for there opinion_)

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**We were speculating about some of the potential candidacy of some of our potential Instructors. The Master of High Dans, (_nodding towards Kenpachi_) and the Master of Low Dans (_nodding towards Jyuushiro_) were trying to help me by expressing opposite points of view. Tell me, Acolyte Ikkaku, what do you think of Rukia?

**Acolyte Ikkaku:**She's alright… Some of the time.

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Acolyte Yumichika.

**Acolyte Yumichika:**She's easy on the eyes… Except when she draws.

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Acolyte Renji.

**Acolyte Renji:**Ah… I love her very dearly. But she always seems to get in trouble.

**Master Kenpachi:**That's exactly the shit I mean.

// Music starts playing in the background, as the characters say the next line in a singsong fashion. General choreography is slow and more in line with characters discussing Rukia. //

--( **Master Kenpachi** )--

She climbs a tree and talks to bees

She plays with teddy bears

--( **Acolyte Ikkaku** )--

She waltzes to the training hall and scribbles on the stairs

--(** Master Kenpachi** )--

She drawing bunnies all day long while sitting at her chair

--( **Acolyte Yumichiki** )--

I've even heard her singing in the Dojo!

--( **Acolyte Ikkaku** )--

She's always late for sparring

--( **Acolyte Renji** )--

But her dedication's real

--( **Master Kenpachi** )--

She's always late for everything

--( **Acolyte Renji** )--

Except for every meal

--( **Master Kenpachi** (_Walks over to join the Acolytes_) )--

How many times I've told ya I damn well feel

--( **Master Kenpachi and Acolytes together** )--

Rukia's not a good Shinigami!

--( **Master Jyuushiro** )--

I'd like to say a word on her behalf

--( **Grandmaster Byakuya **(_speaking tone)_ )--

Then say it, Master Jyuushiro

--( **Master Jyuushiro** )--

Rukia's good for a laugh!

**X x X x X**

(( Song picks up to the tune of How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria))

--( **Grandmaster Byakuya** )--

How do you solve a problem like Rukia?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

--( **Master Jyuushiro** )--

How do find a word that describes Rukia

--( **Acolyte Ikkaku and Acolyte Yumichika** )--

How about bitch!

--( **Acolyte Renji** )--

How about witch!

--( **Master Kenpachi** (_spoken_) )--

How 'bout, A clown!

--( **Grandmaster Byakuya** (_Walking up to stairs and circling group sining_) )--

Many a thing I know that I've told her,

Many a thing I know she understands.

**--( Master Kenpachi** )--

Even if you told her now, she still acts like a cow.

--( **Grandmaster Byakuya **)--

How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

--( **Master Jyuushiro** (_Standing besides Byakuya by now_) )--

How do you solve a problem like Rukia?

--( **Grandmaster Byakuya **)--

How do you hold a moonbeam….

…in your hand?

--( **Acolyte Renji** )--

When I'm with her I'm confused,

out of focus and bemused,

And my reiatsu always gets right out of hand

--( **Acolyte Ikkaku** )--

Her emotions are trampolining

--( **Acolyte Yumichika** )--

She's like a herd of bulls stampeding

--( **Master Jyuushiro **)--

She's a darling

--( **Master Kenpachi** )--

She's a demon

--(** Master Jyuushiro** )--

She's a lamb

--( **Acolyte Renji** )--

She bugs the hell outta me,

Drives me insane to my knees

--( **Acolyte Yumichika** )--

She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl

--( **Master Jyuushiro** )--

She is gentle, she is wild

--( **Acolyte Renji** )--

She kicked ass as a child!

--( **Master Kenpachi** )--

She's a headache

--( **Master Jyuushiro** )--

She's an ANGEL

--( **Grandmaster Byakuya** ( _Raising his hands and sternly looking stopping the bickering _) )--

She's a Girl

--( **All** (_forming one line_) )--

How do you solve a problem like Rukia?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

How do find a word that describes Rukia?

--( **Acolyte Ikkaku and Acolyte Yumichika** )--

How about bitch!

--( **Acolyte Renji** )--

How about witch!

--( **Master Kenpachi** (_spoken_) )--

How 'bout, A clown!

--( **All** )--

Many a thing you'd know you'd like to tell her

Many a thing she ought understand

--( **Grandmaster Byakuya** )--

But how do you make her stay

--( **Master Kenpachi** )--

And listen the hell, to what you say?

--( **Master Jyuushiro** )--

How do you keep the wave upon the sand?

--( **All** )--

How do solve a problem like Rukia?

--( **Grandmaster Byakuya** )--

How do you hold a moonbeam….

…in your hand?

// A loud thump of a door being slammed alerts them to someone's presence. Turning they see Rukia running into the courtyard. She stops at the water pump taking a drink. Another swig later she spits it out to rinse her hands and pours the rest from the small bucket over her hands before wiping her ace down. Passing them, she stops, backtracks and stares Byakuya with puppy dog eyes. //

**Rukia:**Grandmaster Byakuya-nii-sama ( _She nods then runs off rolling her eyes_)

--( **All **( singing last line slower than normal ) )--

How do you hold a moonbeam…

…in your hand?

// Scene fades and ends. //

**Act 1 - Scene 3**

// Rukia stands by a large ornate sliding double doors, nervously. They slide open and Jyuushiro walks out. //

**Master Jyuushiro:**You may go in now Rukia. (_He looks concerned and pats her shoulder reassuringly. Rukia enters the room._)

// It is a fairly large officious looking room. Paperwork is piled everywhere. A pair of Katana's rest on a stand in the far wall. Japanese Kanji Prints are on the walls. A few are Japanese prints depicting mountain scenery and even a seppuku ritual. Byakuya sits at a large oak chair behind a massive oak table. He signals for her to come in. //

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Come in. Sit down.

**Rukia:**Grandmaster Byakuya-nii-sama, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. I chased a rabbit and before I knew it—

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Silence. I did not summon you here to hear apologies.

**Rukia:**Sorry. Then please, let me ask for forgiveness then.

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Did you think this is some kind of temple, a religious church. No it is not. This is Shinigami Academy. Don't bother me with your triviality.

**Rukia:**(_ Using puppy dog eyes _) Please Grandmaster Byakuya-nii-sama.

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Very well. Considering you are my sister, I will allow it this once.

**Rukia:**( _Smiling happily_ ) You see… the sky was so blue today, and the grass was sooo green-

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Enough, I think I understand what already. You are no longer some immature girl. You are a Shinigami acolyte. As such I have been given a mission to hand to you.

**Rukia:**Mission?

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Yes, by Fuhrer Yamamoto himself.

**Rukia:**What is the mission?

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**(_Eyeing Rukia seriously sternly._) Acolyte Rukia. What is the most important thing you have learnt here?

**Rukia:**Always chop a Hollow through the mask, preferably from behind so you-

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Other than that.

**Rukia:**Always uphold the commands issued by the Fuhrer and his government, Central '42.

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Yes. It seems that the Fuhrer wish that you leave us for a while…

**Rukia:**You're sending me away?

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Only for a while.

**Rukia:**NO. Please Grandmaster Byakuya-nii-sama. I'll change. I'll be good I swear it!

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**It is by direct order. There will be no questioning it. Do you understand. I expect you not to shame our family name.

**Rukia:**I know what you expect, Nii-sama. (_She closes her eyes resignedly and sighs_) I'll do it. What do I have to do?

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**There is a family near the district of Salzburg that needs a governess for the next 40 years.

**Rukia:**40 years!

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Yes. You know how long it takes children in Soul Society to grow up, do you not.

**Rukia:**(_Forlornly_) Yes, I do…. How many?

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Seven

**Rukia:**SEVEN!

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**You do like children, do you not?

**Rukia:**Well, not really. And definitely not seven.

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**It is by Fuhrer Yamamoto's direct order.

**Rukia:**Fine. I'll do it. I understand.

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Excellent. I will inform Captain Von Trapp to expect you tomorrow.

**Rukia:**Captain?

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Yes. Captain Ichigo Von Trapp. A retired officer of the Gotei 13. A fine man and a brave one. Or so I've heard. His wife died a long time ago, and so he is alone with the children. I understands he has a difficult time keeping a governess there.

**Rukia:**Why difficult, Grandmaster Byakuya-nii-sama?

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**I don't know.

**Rukia:**( _Looks bewildered_. ) Guess I'll find out soon enough.

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**Some words of advice I once read, "When Kami closes a door… somewhere he opens a window."

**Rukia:**What does that mean?

**Grandmaster Byakuya:**I don't know.

**End Act 1**

**AN: I hope you liked it. I love Sound Of Music and I couldn't resist! Not my usual stupidity. Try singing the songs to the Original OST, it works!**


End file.
